Ok, well Millionaire Shortbread didn't make it up to the Scottish Highlands. He was still in Norway on business when his plane from Aberdeen to Wick left. He flew into Aberdeen at 6.30pm and waited for the 7:55pm flight up to Wick (the last flight until 7am monday morning), but it a seat wasn't available for him (even though customer services said that there would be). Sue and I had driven out to Wick to pick him up and sat in the car park waiting to find out if he could make the flight. Sue asked me about my blog and if I blogged about my boyfriend. I told her yes and that I refered to him as Millionaire Shortbread. "Cos he's dark, sweet and loaded!" I joked. She laughed her head off.
At 8pm he texted me and said that he couldn't make it. Sue suggested that I go down to Aberdeen the next morning, stay with him for the week and fly back together and spend the weekend with the family. I called him up and asked him if that would be cool.
He loved that, so I went home, had dinner, threw some stuff into my suitcase, filed my nails and went to bed at 11:20 pm. Last Saturday I got up at 6:30am got dressed, did my make up etc and headed for the train station. Sue asked me if I wanted to take some snacks and a big bottle of water. "Nah" I said.
"I'll buy something on the train" I usually take snacks, but I had my suitcase, handbag, and a huge tote bag with Millionaire Shortbread's belated birthday present in it. So I was struggling to carry all my stuff. Sue hugged me and left me at the train station. The train pulled out of the station and the driver announced over the intercom that the trolly dolly hadn't showed up for work that morning so there was no trolly service on the line. I sat there for 4 hours without a drink. By the time I got to Inverness I was parched and I had six minutes to catch the train to Aberdeen. I got on the train and bought a bottle of water and a diet coke. I drank the water first. I was sending Millionaire Shortie a text when a drunk old Celtic supporter yelled "ey! Madonna!" at me. He had just got out of the army and was celebrating by drinking 6 cans of cheap larger and yelling at everybody on the bloody train. He sat in the seat opposite me for the entire length of the train journey (2 and a half hours). The trolly dolly on this train (male and strawberry blonde) was checking me out. As I was getting ready to get off the train, the drunken Celtic supporter told the trolly dolly that I had a boyfriend (the trolly dolly had been openly flirting with me).
"I don't doubt it" Trolly Dolly said. "I didn't think she was single, a beautiful girl like her." Cute.
It was lovely to see Millionaire Shortbread after such a long time. I'm still in Aberdeen. I like Aberdeen, the bits I've seen.
Rob has been flat hunting, and yesterday he found the perfect flat. He called me and told me all about it, it sounds really nice. He wants me to come down there and decorate it. We don't know if we are allowed to paint it (as he's renting). If we are allowed to paint it we will stick to creams (we were going to paint the living room bright fire engine red and one wall in the bedroom deep purple, but the deposite is £800 and he won't get that back if we destroy the flat, so we're too scared to go nuts). The place is partly furnished so we are going to decorate with statement pieces and accessories. I suggested that we but big blank canvases and flick paint (in the colours and tones we wanted to use on the walls) at them. So I have a whole flat to dress in afew weeks. Cool.

Millionaire Shortbread is coming to stay for the weekend!
He sent me a message saying that he would have to try and control himself around me as he didn't think it would be polite for us to "make love" (thats what he called it, I would have personally called it shagging) in my parent's house. Sue said that if we were discreet and didn't flaunt it in front of my little sister (she's 15, not 5!) then it wasn't even an issue.
Sue and I went food shopping this evening and bought food that he likes and drink that he enjoys. Have to go, got alot of tarting up to do before tomorrow.

Watching the droplet of blood swell and trickle down my leg, one thought went through my head...
I'm going back to waxing!

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says, 'Pierre, kiss me!'
Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.
'What are you doing, Pierre ?' says the startled Marie.
'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!'
She smiles and they start kissing.
Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, 'Pierre, kiss me lower.'
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.
'Pierre! What are you doing now?' asks the bewildered Marie.
'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!'
She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude: and things really steam up.
Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, 'Pierre, kiss me much lower!'
Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap.
He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine.
Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, 'PIERRE , WHAT IN THE F#@K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?'
Our 'hero' stands and says defiantly,

'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!'

The thing about dates is that they're so boring.
Guy picks up a girl, takes her to dinner where there is awkward silences and coy glances over your pasta carbonara. Guy asks for the bill and shits himself at the price of two plates of pasta, chocolate cake and two glasses of wine. But 'cos he's trying to impress Girl (and hopefully get his leg over) he hands over the cash.
Even though he'll be asking his Dad for a loan tomorrow, Guy takes Girl to see the latest Disney film at the cinema. He pays £10 for two tickets, about the same price for drinks and popcorn (if he's lucky, Girl will offer to go dutch and pay for the refreshments). Guy and Girl sit in the cinema in silence for 120 minutes. Guy drops Girl off at her door, and gets a peck on the cheek. Round about £80 spent on one date, and all Guy gets is a kiss on the CHEEK?

I'd like to go on interesting dates. Bowling, a day at the races, take me to the sea life centre. Make me try something I've never done before. I'll remember it more than dinner and a movie, and if I enjoy myself you'll get more than a peck on the cheek at the end of the night.

Its that time of the month again, and I want mountains of chocolate.
Then again I'd settle for some chocolate body paint and someone to lick it off.

The Erectus Trourerius or Trouser Snake is the world's most dangerous snake. It's colour varies from pink to black. It is fangless and it's average length is 5 to 8 inches (depending on the honesty of its owner). It appears in bedrooms attacking women in the mouth or the lower abdominal area. It's highly venomous spit can cause swelling lasting 9 months! Some mutant species are also known to attack men from behind.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
I don't have a car, but if I did the back seat would probably be filled with CDs and rubbish.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
Yesterday.

3. Whats your favorite curse word?
Fuck (amazing how such a short word can convey so much ).

4. What were you doing at 8am this morning?
I was asleep, having very hot dreams about SJ (he's on my friend's list and he knows who he is!)

5. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Looking at Billy Talent lyrics.

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Once (It was a first date. Its hard to be shy when there are skantily clad bodies gyrating in your face).

7. what is the last thing you said aloud?
(To Pete who is snoring) Shut the fuck up!

8. When is your birthday?
2nd March.

9. What is the best Ice cream flavour?
Ben and Jerry's Mango Berry sorbet

10. What is the last thing you had to drink?
Water with lots of ice.

11. What are you wearing right now?
Ass-tight jeans, and a dark grey t-shirt with a studded butterfly motif.

12. What is the last thing you ate?
Curry flavour super noodles.

13. When was the last time you ran?
This afternoon (it was raining and i ran to get inside)

14. What is the last sporting event you watched?
Wimbledon

15. whats the last sport you played?
Chess (does that count as a sport?)

16. Ever go camping?
God no!

17. Do you have a tan?
No I'm extreamly pale.

18. What is your guilty pleasure?
Cashew nuts.

19. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Not oftern.

20. What are you doing tomorrow?
Going shopping with Sue and Gee

21. Where is your mum right now.
In the kitchen probably.

22. Look to your left, what do you see?
The TV

23. What colour is your watch?
Black leather cuff with silver studs, but I never wear it.

24. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Kangaroos and the Sydney Opera House.

25. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yes

26. What is your birthstone?
Aquamarine, but I prefer Amaythst.

27. Do you go in at a fast food place or hit the drive through?
Does Starbucks count as a fast food place?

28. What is your favorite number?
13

29. have you met anyone famous?
Yes

30. Any plans today?
No its late.

31. How many provinces have you lived in?
Afew.

32. Where are you right now?
Under you're bed.

33. Biggest annoyance in your life right now.
My sister's constant inane chatter.

34. Last song you listened to?
Everythings Magic by Angels and Airwaves.

35. Are you allergic to anything?
I have hayfever

36. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time.
My black cowboy boots with the super pointy toes.

37. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not really.

38. Is anyone jealous of you?
Most likely.

39. Do you love anyone?
Yes

40. Do you eat healthily?
I try to

41. Do you hate anyone or anything right now?
Nothing springs to mind.

FIN

Am going shopping with Sue and Gee tomorrow.
I'm popping into HMV to (if I can afford it) buy Motley Crew's new CD "The Saints Of Los Angeles"
I listened to the song of the same title, and its brilliant.
Can't wait to listen to it VERY LOUD in the car on the way home, and sing along (badly)